i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
where are my eyebrows?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
