nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
