'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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