bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
my mouth tastes like poor choices
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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