hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
