I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
