did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
