i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
