Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
