Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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