you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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