jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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