he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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