Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
