...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Welp...herpes.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
The uberlube is also flammable
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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