at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
