how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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