Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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