Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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