ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
