i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
