Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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