He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
