All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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