don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
