Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
