We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
fuck your aforementioned shoe
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
please don't ironically join a cult
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