my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
