ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
