Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I smell like Dick and happiness
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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