It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
