If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
It's just like the Real World with babies
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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