I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize