i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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