if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
