Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
