im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
