She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
