if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
