Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
