I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
