5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
