um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
