Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
