i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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