Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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