Are we in a gay sports bar?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
