she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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