wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
