Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
