if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
